R.I.P

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So, I’m not one to get wrapped up in celebrities. Who am I kidding? I spend endless hours reading gossip blogs and keeping up with the goings on of random people I don’t know and, for the most part, have no desire to know. However, there are a select few who stray from the “time wasting celebrity idiots” category into the “talented people that I admire and enjoy knowing are on the planet” category. Heath Ledger was definitely someone I enjoyed knowing was on the planet.

Today, at the age of 28, he ceased being on the planet….well, I suppose that would be up for debate, but I’m not in the mood. He died, naked, surrounded by pills in an apartment owned by Mary-Kate Olsen on Broome St….my favorite street in SoHo.*** He died before he got a massage. He died before the new Batman movie, with him as the Joker, came out. He died before the vast majority of his talent could be shared with the world.

Before he was a gay cowboy, he was Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You. A modern adaptation of “Taming of the Shrew” set in the scary confines of high school…sign me up! I LOVE that movie and I love his character in it, trouble to those who don’t know him, but caring and sweet to those who did. SWOON. If you’ve never seen the movie…check it out. That was were my love for Heath Ledger bloomed. In the interest of full disclosure, Heath Ledger was the spitting image of Brian, my first real love,the boy I dated in late High School/early College. I’m sure that helped my affection for him grow.

I saw pretty much all of his films. He never ceased to entertain me, make me cry or laugh or whatever emotion best suited the scene. His acting was solid and to try and draw a line of growth through his characters would be interesting. He never played the same character twice. Strung out druggy in “Candy” ( a film that was always hard to watch, but after today may prove impossible) to a knight from a ridiculous adaptation of “Canterbury Tales,” to a crazy surf shop owner in “Lords of Dogtown” to “Casanova” and Bob Dylan and his most well known roll, a gay cowboy.

His performance in “Brokeback Mountain” was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever witnessed. Every action of that character was a struggle and the look on Heath’s face and the tone of his voice never let you forget it. In an interview about the film he said that “love can destroy you too. The love that this man had in his life destroyed him.” That was painfully evident in the film. Of the two main characters in that movie, Ennis (Ledger) was the most complex. He seemed to be fighting with everything in his world, and he never won.

I don’t doubt that Heath Ledger was a risk taker. He was once quoted as saying “I’m not good at future planning. I don’t plan at all. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I don’t have a day planner and I don’t have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.” Those are not the words of someone who is living or wants to live a quiet, slow life. There is a part of me that would love to know what part of the “now” he was living in when he took the pills that presumably took his life. I’m all for living in the now….but mostly because I want things to talk about in “future now.”

There is no “future now” for Heath Ledger and that saddens me. It saddens me more then the death of an actor should. Perhaps it was my desire to see where his career took him. To see what he looked like as an old man so I could know what Brian would have looked like had he not been killed in a motorcycle accident last year. Maybe I simply wanted to see an attractive man on the big screen who would take my breath away and always leave me wanting more. I guess the “leaving me wanting more” part is taken care of…..

***ok..so it wasn’t in MKO’s house. But it was on Broome street. I didn’t think anything so horrible could happen on such a wonderful street.

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It’s OK….he’s Canadian.

I’m madly in love with Michael Cera. Sure, he’s 19. Sure, he’s dating some Asian girl (why do so many of the men I love go for the Asian girls?) Sure, I don’t know him or anything. But these obstacles will only make our love stronger

Ok….I’m kidding. Well, kind of. I really am fond of the kid. Seeing his face on screen makes me smile and the characters he plays are always the kind of boys I like….at least the kind of boys I like in movies.

I saw Juno today and really, everyone should. Everyone with a soul at least…..you know who you are. I’ve been anticipating this movie for months, I think I saw the first preview for it at Superbad. Anywho, I can confidently say that it was better then I thought it would be. That doesn’t happen very often. The characters were so well written and so charming. The story is almost what you think it will be from the previews….but oh so much better.Ellen Page, who plays Juno, is pretty much mind-blowing. At first I was afraid that the character was a tad overwritten, but then I thought about it and realized that life as a 16 year old is, in reality, overwritten. Everything is so heightened. Add an unplanned pregnancy, it gets a tad interesting. Page’s performance was never over the top. She respected Juno as the person she was and played her with all the quirks, strength and vulnerability the part deserved.

Back to my love, Mr. Cera. He’s so beautifully uncomfortable with nearly everything around him, it ends up working as a strange confidence. It’s as though no one could actually be very self conscious and act the way he does. His character, Bleeker, well, he’s darling. He seems to be in that odd group in High School where he isn’t completely cool, but isn’t a complete outsider. The fact that they have him as a Cross Country runner is perfect. All the guys who ran CC in my high school fell into that gray area of “cool-ish.” As many 16 year old boys, Paulie Bleeker is confused and unaware of how to deal with his feelings, let alone his feelings about his best friend who finds herself pregnant with his child. Faced with the strong personality of Juno, he’s even more bewildered…but he hangs in there. The scenes when Juno and Bleeker are hanging out in his room take me back to so many awkward times in adolescence where you have these great opposite sex friends and sometimes you think that it is something more but most of the time you’re just confused. Who the hell am I kidding, it’s STILL that way for me.

Bottom line, Juno is a well written, well acted, well produced film that I would see 5 more times in the theater and will buy on DVD as soon as I can.

I spent my Christmas with my Dad, eating at Baja Fresh and watching a movie about a pregnant teen and it really couldn’t have been much better.

ps.  the soundtrack for Juno ROCKS and includes a couple of cover versions of songs….I LOVE me a good cover version. 

Once

I just got home from seeing the movie Once . If any of the following things ring true to you, RUN to see this movie, drive a couple of hours if you have to:

  • You are a sucker for a musician
  • Stories of unrequited love speak to you
  • Irish accents, even when impossible to understand, make you smile
  • The process of making music might as well be magic
  • You never give up hope
  • You want to bring happiness to people, even if it isn’t in the exact way YOU would like them to be happy

Seriously, I LOVED this movie. If I had seen this on a date, I can’t even imagine how the rest of the night had been, but I guarantee I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I saw it with my Dad. He paid AND bought me killer chicken fingers afterwards. He liked the movie OK, but wasn’t as enamored as I was. He was irritated that a movie so focused on music had three basic songs that were played over and over. I get that. Life is like that, three songs, played over and over, each time the words take on new meanings and importance. I SO get it. There is also the aspect of unrequited love and words unspoken. The male lead kind of throws it all out on the table early on in the movie, but it’s out of a kind of desperation, a desperation you feel when you first meet someone and they make you happier then you have been in awhile and you might say things because you fear you will never get another chance to say them. It’s an honest desperation. As the film progresses, he says less and less in words, but the desperation never leaves. It starts to invade the movie-goer’s stomach and draws you even further into this simple, sweet, complicated story.

I can’t even begin to go into how much I enjoyed this film and how it seemed to take over my being while I was watching it. I can, however, discuss how it made me think about some things in my life, mostly (this is a big shocker) boys.

Things I wish I hadn’t done (situations that involved boys I’ve liked only) :

  • A dubious (drunken) hook-up with someone that I knew better then to hook up with
  • Getting so drunk in front of them that I could not stand up
  • Being the first to pull away when we hug
  • Drunken texts (um–I’m sensing a pattern here–perhaps my issues are with alcohol more then boys)
  • Slinking out after a night of sharing the same bed (totally platonicly) when they  snuggled up to me
  • Not realizing how wonderful a person they are  for so long

Things I want to say or do every time I see a boy I like (and know):

  • Hug them so long that my arms go numb
  • Bury my face in their neck and take in their smell
  • Tell them that I think that we have a lot of fun together and that we could have even more and know that this would be only an addition to our relationship
  • Not look away when they look at me in the eyes and I fear they can read my mind
  • Be myself, silly and stupid and even smart sometimes and know that it won’t change they way they think of me in any way but a positive way
  • Grab their ass
  • Rub their shoulders
  • Put my hands on their face and just look at them
  • Countless other things that I won’t let myself do

The end of “Once” was quite ambiguous. I have already come up with about 10 scenarios as to what happened next. My life these days has been quite ambiguous also, but I have only a couple of good endings for that.

Empire Records

I watched the movie Empire Records last night on the groovy Netflix “Watch it now” thing. Pretty nifty and made it so I didn’t have to dig out my VHS of this movie. I love this movie. It’s silly and overblown, etc….but it makes me happy. It reminds me of my days in the retail world and the craziness of the music department at ol Border #86…GOOD TIMES!

I found a quiz to see which Empire Records character I am, here are my results:

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She’s Crafty

Well, he’s probably my fave character of the movie, but I don’t know that I relate to him that much. Then again, I’ve always had a thing for Rory Cochran, especially in Dazed and Confused.

That’s pretty much the excitement of my weekend.  I got caught in the rain at the grocery store, I tend to think getting caught in the rain is a lucky thing, so I have high hopes for the week 🙂