Abandonment Issues

I’m sure that this here blog is thinking I don’t love it anymore. That it’s no longer the cute, fluffy blog it was when I first got it and the new has worn off.

However, I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth.  I have written dozens of little notes of ideas about what to write. Things that make me happy. Things that stress me out. Random thoughts. Dozens I tell you. But I can’t seem to make it all come together.

Do I write about how I have self diagnosed Social Anxiety Disorder? I mean, sure, I tend to turn down or flake out on more plans then average. Sure, I’m paranoid that no one likes me, but even more freaked out if it seems like they do like me. But really, who wants to get inside that messed up of a mind?

Do I write about my job? My job that I truly love and cherish, particularly in these trying times? Who wants to hear about a business that is well run, that has a contingency plan, that is turning down business that isn’t “worth it’s time?” That kind of talk gets no attention these days. It’s almost a fairytale.

Do I write about my new car? I love it. It’s a 2007 Nissan Versa  hatchback. I’ve named it Earl. (it’s grey, get it, Earl Grey?!?!)  It reminds me of a baby elephant. It has all sorts of fun bells and whistles, including a sunroof. Sunroofs are cool.

How about boys? Let’s see what I have to say about them these days. Love them. The fuzzier the better. Silly? Sign me up. Possibility of stunted maturity…WOO HOO! Completely uninterested in me….YES! So, basically same ‘ol same ‘ol in the world of boys.

Politics? Always a good subject. Obama’s in. Life is good. I’m proud of our president and have to punch myself every once in awhile when I hear “President Obama.”

Fear? My fears are random and somewhat debilitating. I fear I will never find true love. I fear that I am too OK with being alone. I fear that my parents will die suddenly and I won’t know how to go on. I fear that my hair never looks good. I fear being depressed, again. I fear that my outfits are too “matchy-matchy.” I fear I will never be a parent. I fear that if I were to become a parent, I wouldn’t be a good one. I fear that my cats feel neglected. I fear that I love my dog WAY too much.

My dog…that’s a good one. I love him. Possibly too much (see above) but he is a companion to me in ways I have never known. He got to go to California with me at Christmas and was a camp on the plane. We took him to the beach and that little furry face smelling all the wondrous smells of the ocean was one of the most joyous things I have ever witnessed.

Wii fit? Love it. Haven’t been on it for a week (thanks virus!) but it makes me actually enjoy exercising. I can actually tell that I’m becoming more flexible, etc…..Bravo Nintendo!

I could probably go on and on. Typing lots, saying little. Basically I just want my blog to know that I still love it. Hopefully, one day soon, I can sit down and write a thorough, possibly interesting and informative post.  But not today dear blog, mommy’s got a headache.

Stuff…..

Here is a collection of random things that everyone is dying to know about me–ha ha ha

  1. my initials are HRH and I am fine with people treating me as royalty.
  2. I love carbohydrates…..they may be my one TRUE love.
  3. If carbs ARE NOT my one true love, then my dog Noodle is. Getting him makes me understand that I probably shouldn’t have children if for no other reason then to avoid the obsessive behavior that will accompany them.
  4. I fear that if I don’t have children, all the weird, wacky and wonderful experiences of my life will die with me.
  5. I like to match my underwear to my outfit.
  6. My memory is very effected by smell.
  7. I have very little inherent creative talent, but I like to surround myself with those who do.
  8. Trivia is where I shine.
  9. I once got kicked out of Denny’s for singing the Beastie Boys “Paul Revere”–the whole thing. While standing on a chair. After eating a “Moons Over My Hammy!”
  10. I judge “fast casual” restaraunts by their ranch dressing.
  11. I have two cats. I love them. I had to get a dog instead of another cat to avoid being “crazy cat lady,”–a peril of being single.
  12. I love boys.
  13. I was tasered in high school.
  14. I carried around a snoopy MUCH later then I should have. I ended up having a small piece of his ear that I would sleep with. I lost that at the age of 22, in a Vegas hotel. Snoopy deserved better then that.
  15. I can be a dumbass AND a smart ass–often simultaneously.
  16. I had a job I hated for 5 years.
  17. My boss at my old job once told someone that I “could not be saved.” It was a Christian company.
  18. Musicians can get away with anything with me.
  19. I don’t like to write in blue ink.
  20. The company I currently work for often provides beer. It is NOT a “Christian” company.
  21. I like the way boys smell…even when they are kind of dirty.
  22. I don’t like it when my dog smells dirty, or gets wet. Good thing he likes the hair dryer.
  23. Sometimes I wake up and am sucking my thumb.
  24. I like to read quotes and intend to quote folks in my daily speech. Instead I usually just say stupid things….or quote lyrics or movies.
  25. Shoes and handbags are my weaknesses, well, those and cute boys….and tonic drinks….
  26. When I go to concerts, I like to sit in the even numbered seat.
  27. My tongue is very short.
  28. My second toe is longer then my big toe—which is rumored to be a sign of intelligence.
  29. I don’t like to write in blue ink.
  30. The first song I heard at work today was “Miss Independent” by Kelly Clarkson…and it pretty much made me able to handle anything thrown my way!
  31. I am a Sagittarius. When asked at about 4 years old what my sign was (God love the 70s!) I said “vegetarian”–I say it was pure wit–not stupidity!
  32. I love lip gloss and any other lip product.
  33. I cannot tell you what my natural haircolor is as I am sure it has changed in the 16 years I’ve been coloring it.
  34. My nicknames include; Heeter Lou, Goochybird, Guccia, Birdhead, Heathera, Steve Guchenberg, Ha Ha (pronounced “hey hey”) and Gucci….to name a few.
  35. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem using my tongue.
  36. I would rather freeze to death then burn to death (although I’d rather die peacefully in my sleep most of all!)
  37. I like tattoos.
  38. Celebrity gossip is something I can’t break myself away from.
  39. I am a voyeur, which is why myspace is so lovely!
  40. The word lovely makes me smile. I can use it in both positive and negative ways. I can even use it sarcastically.
  41. Sarcasm must be had to survive in my family.
  42. Often times I don’t think I know what I’m doing at work….but it all seems to work out.
  43. I think I have body dysmporhic disorder—but the opposite of most. I think my body looks better then it actually does. 🙂
  44. Deviled eggs make me happy, unless they have onion in them.
  45. I’ve been on “America’s Funniest People.”
  46. No, you can’t see the tape.
  47. I was once in two newspapers on the same day for different reasons. Neither of which were crime related.
  48. I wrote a play with 2 other people in the 2nd grade. We performed it for the school. I was Suzy Stegosaurus. That was one of the reasons I was in the newspaper.
  49. I’m an only child.
  50. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. Ok–not really, but if you know where that line comes from is it pretty safe to say we can be best friends.
  51. I know for a fact that the security guards at the Flamingo in Las Vegas, frown on you singing “Cheeseburger in Paradise” while walking along the edge of their planters in the casino.