Here is a brief list of my faults, issues, and confessions. There is no way in the universe that I would ever be able to list all of them, but here are the ones that seem to be causing me the most trauma lately.
I fear commitment
I fear being lonely
I like the wrong boys for the wrong reasons
I have big pores
I have a tendency to want people to like me so much that I don’t actually let them get to know the “real” me
I feel too much
I think too much
I eat chips and dip for breakfast sometimes
I don’t always brush my teeth twice a day
I wear my contacts for days on end when I am not supposed to
I love my pets too much
I REALLY love my dog too much
I can be self-destructive
I take insults well
I take compliments horribly
I don’t speak up for injustice because I still believe that people are doing the best they can with the information they have at the time
I have no tolerance for stupidity
When people say “Do what?” instead of “pardon me” “what was that?” or even “huh?” I want to scream
I bite my fingernails
I don’t like to clean my kitchen
I rarely put away my laundry
My good intentions outnumber my good deeds exponentially
I expect return phone calls
I have no problem sleeping with someone on the first date
I have dozens of pairs of shoes and handbags
There are 5 handbags in my possession that I have never used
I let my dog kiss me on the mouth (mouth closed!)
I’m easily entertained
I’m easily discouraged
I start lots of things that I never finish
I get ridiculously happy in the presence of musicians
I fear clowns, little people and lawn work
I put on a brave face when I want to cry
I spent so much of my life trying to not talk too loud that I now get accused of talking too softly
I sleep in my clothes more often then anyone with an actual home and actual pajamas should
I still believe in fairytales
If it wouldn’t make me sick I would only eat appetizers and desserts and only drink Tropicana Light Lemonade or Vodka Tonics
I like to get drunk….even if I sometimes fall down
I have a list of boys that I want to “lick from head to toe”–it’s a VERY short list and easier to get off then get on
I have a freakishly short tongue
Sometimes I would rather sit at home alone on Saturday night then go out with actual people
If I stay at home alone on Saturday night instead of going out with actual people, I will be pissed at myself about it on Sunday
I still draw on myself from time to time, but now I call it “tattoo research”
I want better cleavage
I rarely make my bed
I can’t find the right lipstick color
I need something to wear to the agency anniversary party
I’m more excited about the open bar at the anniversary party than Ricky Skaggs performing
I need a date to the anniversary party—ok, I don’t NEED one, I want one, one particular one.
I obsess over boys
I quote song lyrics a LOT!
I have an oral fixation
I want to go canoeing again, with pretty much the same exact people and a whole bucket full of new knowledge
I need new panties
I have bouts of insomnia and bouts of “whatever you call it when all you do is sleep, but not because you are depressed or physically exhausted”
I’m not participating in “Hands on Nashville Day” because I don’t want to be too tired to raise hell with my buddies Reckless Kelly that night
I still haven’t finished Harry Potter book 4 and it’s making me want to abandon the series all together
It has been said that confession is good for the soul. So until some university gets a bazillion dollars to study this and prove it wrong (while people are dying of diseases and such) I will stick with random confessions.
For the record, my idea of a confession is to tell the world (or whoever will listen) about things that either I am not proud of, am afraid of, or simply don’t make me very cool. (In general I don’t know that I am very cool, so in theory everything I say is a confession? oh hell, I’m rambling now).
My confessions for August 1, 2007:
I enjoy massive disasters. Well, I don’t know that enjoy is the right word. I become obsessed with the terrible things that happen in this world. Perfect example; the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis today. I saw the headline on msnbc.com and I felt my heart race. I ran into the living room and turned on the TV. I watched for a good hour, the same footage, over and over. When the Oklahoma City Bombing happened, I took a day off work. Granted, I used to live there and had friends downtown, etc….but still. September 11, don’t even get me started! I think it’s an illness. I tell myself that it is like walking around when you have a cramp in your calf, it hurts a lot at first, but then it gets sort of numb. Perhaps I think that if I watch all the horrible things that go on in the world, I will be more prepared when something happens to me, or maybe I will just have a better perspective on things? Who knows.
Sometimes I think I want to be a redneck. Wait…that sounds weird. Ok…bottom line, I find myself attracted to redneck boys. There. I like the truck driving, beer drinking, stripper bar going,boob obsessed, questionably educated, loud, harsh country boys. I can’t get enough of them sometimes. I know there is no sort of relationship to be had, I am way too bourgeoisie —-yep, I’m uppity too. But the thought of being curled up next to a warm boy who smells of beer and cigarettes in the bed of his truck in the middle of nowhere and not giving a shit that there is a gun rack in the cab or that he very well might have voted for W (if he voted at all) seems nice. We wouldn’t be bogged down with conversation, just lots of making out, etc…..
I bought 3 boxes of cereal at the grocery store today. I did this knowing full well that I had 4 boxes in the cupboard at home.
I’m obsessed with myspace. Yep, I’m a tad too old. Yep, I’m a total voyeur. But come on now, how flippin’ awesome is it to be able to see how groups of friends overlap? How about musical tastes….important things to find out about people. The random layouts and shit that people put on their profiles….VERY informative. Being able to look at pictures of people you kind of know or want to know better…HELL YEAH! It’s kind of a good thing that I don’t have access to it at work….I can look up porn, but not myspace….since I would waste even more ridiculous amounts of time on it. I do, however, sometimes wish, that I had myspace friends who would leave me nasty pictures or questionable humor comments. It goes back to my not so secret love for the rednecks I guess.
I can eat almost a full bag of reduced fat Ruffles (they aren’t as greasy and are more ‘potato-y’, it’s not a health thing) and a full container of Publix’s Black Bean Cheddar dip within 24 hours. Hell, who am I kidding, 12 hours! I will eat it for “dinner” and then “breakfast.” I’m sick, truly sick…..
I check my blog stats a million times a day. Ok, that’s an exaggeration ( I exaggerate also!) But I check them alot! I also check on blogs that I make comments on to see if there has been a response to a comment I’ve made. For example, I made a comment on a blog today of a person that I am FREAKISHLY fond of and their response, which was 4 letters and an emoticon…made me smile so hard for so long that my cheeks hurt. Yes, I need constant reassurance, but it really takes so so little 🙂
OK–that’s all the confessing I have in me for today. I’m tired. I need to go read some more Harry Potter and my dog just rolled off the bed in his sleep. Should be an interesting night 🙂
My mom had told me about this wonderful contraption when I was in LA for Mother’s Day, but even The Container Store didn’t have it.
Luckily she found them here and I received a package containing a pink one and an orange one yesterday. This is a feat of engineering and us cereal lovers don’t reap the benefits of those very often. There is even a dang spoon in the lid!!!
This morning was my first time using it and it rocked. I think I’ll keep the gel thing in the fridge, not the freezer (icy milk is weird!) and I recommend washing it out if you’re going to keep it on your desk. Damp Special K is a bit gross looking, even with a jazzy pink top.