A Brief Accounting

Here is a brief list of my faults, issues, and confessions. There is no way in the universe that I would ever be able to list all of them, but here are the ones that seem to be causing me the most trauma lately.

  • I fear commitment
  • I fear being lonely
  • I like the wrong boys for the wrong reasons
  • I have big pores
  • I have a tendency to want people to like me so much that I don’t actually let them get to know the “real” me
  • I feel too much
  • I think too much
  • I eat chips and dip for breakfast sometimes
  • I don’t always brush my teeth twice a day
  • I wear my contacts for days on end when I am not supposed to
  • I love my pets too much
  • I REALLY love my dog too much
  • I’m self-centered
  • I can be self-destructive
  • I take insults well
  • I take compliments horribly
  • I don’t speak up for injustice because I still believe that people are doing the best they can with the information they have at the time
  • I have no tolerance for stupidity
  • When people say “Do what?” instead of “pardon me” “what was that?” or even “huh?” I want to scream
  • I bite my fingernails
  • I don’t like to clean my kitchen
  • I rarely put away my laundry
  • My good intentions outnumber my good deeds exponentially
  • I expect return phone calls
  • I have no problem sleeping with someone on the first date
  • I have dozens of pairs of shoes and handbags
  • There are 5 handbags in my possession that I have never used
  • I let my dog kiss me on the mouth (mouth closed!)
  • I’m easily entertained
  • I’m easily discouraged
  • I start lots of things that I never finish
  • I get ridiculously happy in the presence of musicians
  • I fear clowns, little people and lawn work
  • I put on a brave face when I want to cry
  • I spent so much of my life trying to not talk too loud that I now get accused of talking too softly
  • I sleep in my clothes more often then anyone with an actual home and actual pajamas should
  • I still believe in fairytales
  • If it wouldn’t make me sick I would only eat appetizers and desserts and only drink Tropicana Light Lemonade or Vodka Tonics
  • I like to get drunk….even if I sometimes fall down
  • I have a list of boys that I want to “lick from head to toe”–it’s a VERY short list and easier to get off then get on
  • I have a freakishly short tongue
  • Sometimes I would rather sit at home alone on Saturday night then go out with actual people
  • If I stay at home alone on Saturday night instead of going out with actual people, I will be pissed at myself about it on Sunday
  • I still draw on myself from time to time, but now I call it “tattoo research”
  • I want better cleavage
  • I rarely make my bed
  • I can’t find the right lipstick color
  • I need something to wear to the agency anniversary party
  • I’m more excited about the open bar at the anniversary party than Ricky Skaggs performing
  • I need a date to the anniversary party—ok, I don’t NEED one, I want one, one particular one.
  • I obsess over boys
  • I quote song lyrics a LOT!
  • I have an oral fixation
  • I want to go canoeing again, with pretty much the same exact people and a whole bucket full of new knowledge
  • I need new panties
  • I have bouts of insomnia and bouts of “whatever you call it when all you do is sleep, but not because you are depressed or physically exhausted”
  • I’m not participating in “Hands on Nashville Day” because I don’t want to be too tired to raise hell with my buddies Reckless Kelly that night
  • I still haven’t finished Harry Potter book 4 and it’s making me want to abandon the series all together
  • I’m tired of listing my faults

AHC Day 8

Sometimes all you need is a rousing song from a Broadway musical to make ya happy.  Well, at least I do. Yet another reason gay boys love me.

“Defying Gravity” from Wicked just shuffled up on my iPod and it’s simply lovely.

 Come on now:

Ev’ryone deserves the chance to fly
And if I’m flying solo
At least I’m flying free

Listen to that an try to NOT be happy.  Seriously.

Yes, I saw this show on Broadway and it was one of the most wonderful things I have ever witnessed. Once Harry Potter is done, I’m reading the book.

Confessions

It has been said that confession is good for the soul. So until some university gets a bazillion dollars to study this and prove it wrong (while people are dying of diseases and such) I will stick with random confessions.

For the record, my idea of a confession is to tell the world (or whoever will listen) about things that either I am not proud of, am afraid of, or simply don’t make me very cool.  (In general I don’t know that I am very cool, so in theory everything I say is a confession?  oh hell, I’m rambling now).

My confessions for August 1, 2007:

  1. I enjoy massive disasters.  Well, I don’t know that enjoy is the right word. I become obsessed with the terrible things that happen in this world.  Perfect example; the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis today.  I saw the headline on msnbc.com and I felt my heart race.  I ran into the living room and turned on the TV.  I watched for a good hour, the same footage, over and over. When the Oklahoma City Bombing happened, I took a day off work.  Granted, I used to live there and had friends downtown, etc….but still.  September 11, don’t even get me started!  I think it’s an illness.  I tell myself that it is like walking around when you have a cramp in your calf, it hurts a lot at first, but then it gets sort of numb.  Perhaps I think that if I watch all the horrible things that go on in the world, I will be more prepared when something happens to me, or maybe I will just have a better perspective on things?  Who knows.
  2. Sometimes I think I want to be a redneck.  Wait…that sounds weird.  Ok…bottom line, I find myself attracted to redneck boys.  There.  I like the truck driving, beer drinking, stripper bar going,boob obsessed, questionably educated, loud, harsh country boys.  I can’t get enough of them sometimes. I know there is no sort of relationship to be had, I am way too bourgeoisie —-yep, I’m uppity too.  But the thought of being curled up next to a warm boy who smells of beer and cigarettes in the bed of his truck in the middle of nowhere and not giving a shit that there is a gun rack in the cab or that he very well might have voted for W (if he voted at all) seems nice. We wouldn’t be bogged down with conversation, just lots of making out, etc…..
  3. I bought 3 boxes of cereal at the grocery store today.  I did this knowing full well that I had 4 boxes in the cupboard at home.
  4. I’m obsessed with myspace.  Yep, I’m a tad too old.  Yep, I’m a total voyeur. But come on now, how flippin’ awesome is it to be able to see how groups of friends overlap?  How about musical tastes….important things to find out about people.  The random layouts and shit that people put on their profiles….VERY informative.  Being able to look at pictures of people you kind of know or want to know better…HELL YEAH!  It’s kind of a good thing that I don’t have access to it at work….I can look up porn, but not myspace….since I would waste even more ridiculous amounts of time on it. I do, however, sometimes wish, that I had myspace friends who would leave me nasty pictures or questionable humor comments.  It goes back to my not so secret love for the rednecks I guess.
  5. I can eat almost a full bag of reduced fat Ruffles (they aren’t as greasy and are more ‘potato-y’, it’s not a health thing) and a full container of Publix’s Black Bean Cheddar dip within 24 hours.  Hell, who am I kidding, 12 hours!  I will eat it for “dinner” and then “breakfast.”  I’m sick, truly sick…..
  6. I check my blog stats a million times a day.  Ok, that’s an exaggeration ( I exaggerate also!) But I check them alot!  I also check on blogs that I make comments on to see if there has been a response to a comment I’ve made.  For example, I made a comment on a blog today of a person that I am FREAKISHLY fond of and their response, which was 4 letters and an emoticon…made me smile so hard for so long that my cheeks hurt. Yes, I need constant reassurance, but it really takes so so little 🙂

OK–that’s all the confessing I have in me for today.  I’m tired.  I need to go read some more Harry Potter and my dog just rolled off the bed in his sleep.  Should be an interesting night 🙂

Blogette 16

Strawberry Starbursts taste just like Red Bull….I guess that should be vice versa since Starbursts are older.

If you didn’t have Tomato Basil Soup and Fruit Tea from Bread and Company while reading and eating your lunch under two huge trees at Centennial Park today, you missed out!  No humidity and a lovely breeze.

That is all. Nothing more to see here. Move along.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Seven years ago today I became an official resident of Nashville.  I moved into my little apartment with only a bed, a TV, a stereo, 2,000 CDs, an air mattress and a lawn chair.  It was the scariest and most exciting thing I had ever done.  I had no job.  I knew no one.  I had enough money to live for about 2 months. The first few days were exciting.  The next couple of months were terrible.  Then I started to make friends. I had a job that was paying the bills nicely. I went out more–which is good since my apartment was way more ghetto then I had noticed moving in and the shootings and drug busts seemed to happen in the late evening and were all cleaned up by the time I got home.

I fell madly in love, not with a person, but with my city.  The place I had decided to make my home felt more like my home then any place I had ever lived.  The first time I flew back to L.A. I was almost sick at the thought of leaving.  I remember being at the Cleveland airport waiting for my connecting flight and the gate next to mine was a flight to Nashville and I just wanted to get on it and go home!  I missed my L.A. friends and my mom terribly….but it simply wasn’t home any more.

In the past 7 years I have laughed more and cried more and learned more then in the 26 years before. I have met the most amazing people. I have made the most wonderful friends.  I have stayed in touch with my L.A. friends (something I’m quite proud of!) and have even shown them the wonders of Nashville and they too, have quite a crush on this city of mine. I am still dumbstruck at the natural beauty of this area. 

I  love the creativity that seems to permeate the air. I love the fact that on Sundays, it feels like a very small town, it’s so quiet and slow and lovely. I love the smell right after a big thunderstorm. I love the smell of the air when you cross the state lines (the air in Tennessee is just sweeter…I don’t know why!) I love that I can eat corn nuggets at a meat and three and thai food on the same day. I love sitting in Centennial park and reading. I love seeing indie movies at the Belcourt and drinking fair trade coffee at Fido. I love knowing that macaroni and cheese is a vegetable and that sushi is great fried.  I love to sit on the patio at Jackson’s and drink vodka tonics with my friends AND my dog. I love the country boys in pick-ups and the rocker boys in black. I love popsicles from Las Paletas and sweet potato fries from Bobbie’s Dairy Dip.  I love that I “rescued” all three of my pets…..but I know that they actually rescued me. I love Thirsty Thursday at Greer Stadium. I love being able to hear the cannon when the Titans score a touchdown. I love hearing a song on the radio and know that the artist was at the table next to me the night before. I love being an 8 hour drive away from Chicago. I love being a half hour drive from the middle of nowhere. I love tomatoes in late July and shephard’s pie at Family Wash in late January. I love being able to walk into Corner Bar and have my drink ready for me before I sit down. I love that we now have a Sephora AND multiple places to get good fish tacos. I love pupusas at Las Americas and the accessories at Pangea. Really, the list goes on and on and on……

I can’t believe it’s been 7 years.  Somedays it feels like I just got here and other days it feels like I’ve lived here my whole life.  I’ve had a pretty transient life, but I now know that I have found my home and that is a very re-assuring fact.

An HP free day

So, for the last 8 days my life has been consumed with Harry Potter. I have read the first 3 books and seen the first two movies (well, most of them, Beckham’s US debut beat out the end of the second one)  I have read well over 1,000 pages of the world of Hogwarts, Quidditch and the pubescent sexual tension of Ron and Hermione. However, today, Sunday, a day of rest, I have been completely Harry-free.  I cleaned my house, did laundry, cooked food, walked my dog, and took many naps.  But no Harry. I’ve been tempted with spoilers from book 7, but haven’t given in.

I may be the only HP fan who took this day off….and I fear that I may start book 4 before going to bed and not get any sleep.  But I cannot let another male rule my life.  Especially one that is completely fictional, WAY too young (and for me that is saying something) and doesn’t appear to have musical or graphic design skills.

I think this day off was a good thing.  I was starting to feel tied down to the books.  I was feeling as though I was giving more then I was getting from the relationship and if that is the case, I should at least get a good make out session 🙂

It’s just a day, Harry.  It’s me, it’s not you.  I’ll be back to obsessing over you soon, but I needed to take care of me for a bit.  We’re good.  You’re great.  I still love you, but I HAVE to put my laundry away.

On tap for the week: NO BLOODY IDEA, but I feel the possibilities are endless! 😀

Late to the party

I’m not one to be late to a party. Well, that isn’t completely true.  I do like to get there when I know things will be in full swing and I can just join in as opossed to creating my own festivities. But this isn’t really about a party per se.  This is about a series of books (and movies) that I have somehow gone nearly ten years without knowing anything about.  Yep, until this weekend, I was a Harry Potter virgin.

When the first couple of books came out I worked at a bookstore.  We had people trying to order the books from England because they used to come out early there. Staff people would open boxes when we got them in and sit in the crazy warehouse just reading their little hearts out.  Hello people, these are books for tweens—not adults.  Oh yeah, and they are fantasy–count me out.  I got so behind the HP train that I decided that I simply wasn’t going to get on it at all, similar to my ideas on friend twinkies. But here is am, 5 days before the “final” (?) book in the series comes out and I’m obsessed.

I read the first book over a 16 hour time span—a time span that included sleeping.  Then I went out to the pool with book 2 and before I knew it, was a third of the way done and had been bobbing around in the sun for over 3 hours!!! The only thing that stopped me from reading (and frying myself) was one of my redneck neighbors deciding to tell me all about the things that happen in the later books.  Jerk.

I went to a show last night where some friends were playing.  Lovely show.  Good music. Good conversation. Couldn’t be over fast enough. I had to flippin’ get home and keep reading! So, again, I stayed up until the wee hours reading.

At lunch I have to go get the next couple in the series so I don’t have to deal with any downtime. I had dreams that I was playing Quidditch.  I think Hermione rocks! I suddenly want to go see Eqqus in London.

Hello, my name is Heather and I’m obsessed.

For those keeping score…..my HP obsession has not curbed my boy craziness at all. But, it keeps my mind somewhat busy so I can’t think of Mr. T ALL the time.