Why I’m a bad blogger

Yes, I will be blogging about why I don’t blog.

Yes, it can be confusing being me sometimes.

But I think I’ve figured out why I have not blogged regularly, as I promised myself I would be doing.

The first reason is that, intrinsically, I am lazy. Seriously, I am most regularly happy chilling on my couch with my dog and cat. I can big time party with the best of them….but as a rule, I’d rather not.

The second reason, indelibly tied to the first, is that I lead a somewhat boring life. I mean, I’m not bored by it, but I bet most people would be.

Which leads to, or is continued in, reason three. I tend to write more when I am very sad or very happy. Content does not lend itself to writing for me. I am blissfully content these days. I love my life. I love my job. I love my friends.  I love my family. I love my house. Things are just really good right now…but not in such a way that they inspire much writing.

Sometimes I simply want to live my life, not document it or report about it. I forget to take pictures because I’m too busy experiencing the sight. I forget to write things down because I’m too busy enjoying the situation. Sue me.

But in less then two weeks I will be in NOLA…and if my world is rocked 1/3 as much as I anticipate it will be rocked….I will be blogging my fingers off.

Or not….

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Well hell…..

I missed yesterday.

Sure, I worked 12 hours.

But dammit all to hell I forgot to post ANYTHING yesterday.

Perhaps I should make it that I will post at least 365 posts in 2011?

Or is that cheating.

See…I told you I was good at letting myself down.

SHIT SHIT SHIT

The Diamond Anniversary of Dick Howard

My grandpa Howard was born 100 years ago today.

He didn’t live to see 100.

He died at 73 on Halloween. I haven’t felt the same about the holiday since. But he died in a way that sounds pretty nice. He had made apple dumplings (the peeler was still attached to the counter and the dumplings were in the fridge) and he was all ready to disappoint the neighborhood kids with a bowl full of cheap candy. He raked the leaves, came in to take a nap, and never woke up.

He died in the same house he was born in.

He was the first person I was really close to that died.

But let’s quit with the details of his death and talk about the details of his life.

Whenever I find myself being too responsible, running early, or doing something because it simply should be done (not out of any desire to do it) I quickly remember that I am Dick Howard’s  granddaughter. He was an amazing man. He worked a blue collar job. Raised 3 daughters. Took a vacation pretty much every year. Went deer hunting around Thanksgiving. Built a pottery wheel in his basement. Gave me drinks of water from a fabulous metal dipper. Always had doublemint gum and let me put sugar in my iced tea.

Everytime I drink sweet tea I think of Grandpa. I think of how he would have truly appreciated the house wine of the South, if for no other reason then being able to skip all that stirring. He would stir and stir and stir and stir, trying to get that sugar melted. But it never really did. He taught me you had to stir it really well and quickly take a drink. This had to happen before each drink if you wanted your iced tea to be sweet. Oh how he’d enjoy the sweet tea around here….

My Grandpa wasn’t really fond of my dad. He and my dad both worked at the National Standard plant and one day he saw my dad peeing in the parking lot. Not like in the middle of it or something…but behind a car or bush. Regardless, it wasn’t right. When my parents divorced, I would argue that my Grandpa wasn’t bummed. We all knew this and the first time my Dad dropped my off at Grandma and Grandpa’s house I was shocked at how cold my Grandpa was to my dad. Even at 4 years old I found the whole thing offputting. Turns out that my Grandpa hadn’t recognized my dad and was just being cordial to the man who was dropping off his granddaughter. Once we figured this out we all laughed and I’m pretty sure my dad was later welcomed into the house with open arms and greeted with a hug.

As I write this I am struck with how few distinct memories I have of my Grandpa. I am also struck with, even in the absence of these memories, how much I still miss him. I wish he was around to help me with things at my house. I think he’d LOVE my dog and maybe even like my cat (although he believed the only good cat was a dead cat).  I wish he knew how important he is to me. I wish he knew how every time I see the first lighting bugs I think of him punching holes in the top of a jar lid for me to catch them. How I would catch as many as I could and he would let me sleep on the mud porch with them for light. How he never made fun of me for getting scared from the lack of light on the mud porch and ended up back inside, leaving the lightning bugs to die outside. I wonder if he had as much fun grocery shopping with me as I did him? I wonder how he made store brand macaroni and cheese so yummy. I wish he taught me to make bread….he made the BEST bread.

I could go on and on about the random little things that make me think of my Grandpa. I always wished that he and my Grandma Haley were married….maybe that’s happened in heaven now. Man…that would be so amazing.

Happy 100th Grandpa! I love you more then you ever knew and will love you forever.

Happy 2011!

I don’t normally do resolutions. Mostly because I hate realizing how easy it is for me to let myself down. However, I am using my resolve this year to post more frequently on my blog. By more frequently I mean EVERY DAY! Now, I am being realistic in this and not expecting each post to be a charming, well thought out, pithy insight into some random thing in the world. Some days may just be a photo (probably of Noodle….let’s face it, he’s a damn photogenic creature) or it may be a link to something that made me smile or think or cry, etc… But I vow that each day of 2011 will have some sort of post from me. A web based record of the year.

I know….this is so exciting for all my 4 readers.

Will I follow through with this?

Will I just pull 365 photos of Noodle now….just to be prepared?

How many times will I mention Texas, music, Noodle, etc….?

Will this prevent me from being an active member of society?

I guess you’ll have to read and see 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I have faith that 2011 will continue the trend of fabulosity in my life!