I know, I’m early.
It’s even early for a habitually early person like me.
But you’ve been on my mind lately.
I miss you.
Really…I could end this blog right there and it would express all I need to. But, as you probably recall….I like to expand on things. Give more details then may be needed. You used to find that charming.
We’re going on 5 years of not being friends. Which means it will soon be a fact that we have NOT been friends longer then we were friends. But, damn, what a time it was. We just clicked. Kinda instantly. I had only known you since your “big secret” was out…so you didn’t have to worry about me judging you about it. Hell…it probably made me like you more. Our first time hanging out big time was at my office Christmas party. It was kind of a drag of a thing to go to, but our mutual friend who introduced us was there and we ended the evening playing skee ball. We got a bunch of tickets and you exchanged yours for disco ball key chains. I will never forget walking into your bathroom and seeing those tiny things hung from the ceiling in a perfect little line, the only real decoration in your sparse bathroom. It was possibly your first really “gay” thing to do and it was hilarious to me.
If I were to document all of the things we did together, well, I don’t think we could. We saw each other more days then we didn’t. Our lives, in many ways, kind of melded into one. We respected each other’s quirks and tolerated each other’s neurosis. We traveled together amazingly, even though you always left your toothbrush in the sink and wanted to get up super early. We didn’t share food well since you acted like a starving child eating your first meal in months…but I learned that quickly and acted accordingly. We had code words for stupid things. We had inside jokes that are still funny to me. We had similar enough taste in boys to be supportive of our random crushes, but different enough to make it interesting. You were the first person I told about so many things, and I was the first person you told about so many things. We had a really good run. It was a friendship like no other I’ve ever had. And not to beat a dead horse….but I miss you.
I could go into what pulled us apart. I have theories and things that upset me. But at this point in my life, those things don’t matter. I don’t have room for the ugly things in my past, the good things are so much stronger.
The possibility of us being anything more then the cordial folks we are when we run into each other is super slim. Really, I don’t know if I would want to be friends again. I don’t think it would ever be like it was and trying to make something like it used to be just rarely works out well.
But, for what it’s worth, I have amazing memories of our time together. You showed me things I probably never would have seen and I’d like to think I did the same for you.
Happy 36th Craig! You know how I always love even numbers……