Baby fever…..for real?!?!?

I got to meet Jane this weekend!

She’s precious.

Perfect and small and soft.

She snuggled right up and melted my heart.

She also seems to have turned up the volume on the ticking of my biological clock. I mean, it’s there, ticking away all the time, but now, it’s deafening. I suppose this is a given when one is 35 and (oh so) single. But damn!

Jane’s mom tells of how this is the hardest job she’s ever had. She talks of no sleep. She talks of absolute fear of this 9 lb person. But she does all this with a almost undetectable smile that makes me pretty sure it’s all worth it. I ask about nursing and labor pains and all that stuff, and no matter what she says, I think it sounds lovely.

My mind has been going through it’s contact list in hopes there is some sort of forgotten male who would be perfect to stop this clicking clock. All it finds is Mr. Complicated, Mr. Wrong, Mr. Bad Gene Pool, Mr. Gay. Mr. Ewwww and Mr. Not In A Million Years.

Then my mind takes me to the dark side. Do I want to have a baby so I don’t feel left out? Do I want to have a baby or do I want to have what I’d like to think comes with a baby, a husband (or husband type person) a cute little house with a backyard and silly disagreements about nothing? Do I want a baby just so I am not alone?

Currently all I am sure of is this; the time I spent this past weekend holding that precious little girl was the happiest time I’ve spent in a very long time.

2 thoughts on “Baby fever…..for real?!?!?

  1. Decisions, decisions. I too struggle with this dilemma. You will be a kick ass mother. We still have a few years to deliberate. As one woman told me in a JOB INTERVIEW, “Lots of people are having kids when they are older”, after asking me if I had kids or if I planned on it. Such odd conversation, not even sure it was legal let alone appropriate.

  2. Whatever you decide, auntie Nikki will be there to support you! Believe me, to have a baby or not to have a baby is a struggle that not only single girls have but couples too. Craig and I had a long discussion about it the other night because, HELLO, by the time we get married, we won’t have much time to wait around. And he’s really kind of set in his ways and a baby would certainly shake that up! It’s tough. But Michelle’s right – you will be a kick ass mother! 🙂

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