Strange New Obsession

So, I’m obsessed with a girl. It’s weird. She looks so familiar, yet so foreign. I have questions for her. I want to be her. I think she seems like a cool person. She looks so confident and carefree and, dare I say, pretty.

Would you like to see her?  Well, here ya go:

Ok, so it’s me. But is it really? It’s a random self portrait taken while wearing little make-up, having a bad hair day and nursing a bit of a sunburn. But with some color correction and artful cropping, she’s this beautiful thing. Sure, it’s totally narcissistic to say that a photo of myself is beautiful, but in this case it’s ok. See, I feel completely removed from the person in this photo. I can’t make this girl correspond with the person in the mirror. If there were special glasses I could hand out that made it so people saw me like this girl, I’d go back into debt to buy them. I’d hand them out to all the boys who don’t see me as anything but a friend (when I would like it to be more). I’d give them to the girls who would never think of me as competition for the attention of men. I’d keep a pair for myself for those days, and there are many, where I think I am anything but attractive.

While waiting for such glasses to be produced, what can I do? How can I translate the confidence I see in this picture to my world? How to I get others to see me more like this picture and less like whatever it is they see me as. How do I survive in a world where color correction and artful cropping just aren’t always available?

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