The Homewrecker’s Handbook

warning: this post will contain much swearing, lot’s of “f bombs”–feel free to click away now

This goes out to all the ladies who will fuck someone’s husband. Hopefully it will help you deal with some of the “tricky” situations that may come up as a result of fucking someone’s husband.

  • Don’t get mad should the woman who’s husband you fucked (aka, his ex-wife, mother of his child, forgiving angel, etc.) be kind enough to bring over Christmas presents HER MOTHER bought for your children.  All of them, the one you had when you met her HUSBAND, the one you had as a result of FUCKING her husband, and the one she had when she was married to her husband, whom you fucked. It’s a kind gesture on behalf of you’re baby daddy’s former mother in law for the kids…it has nothing to do with you….HUSBAND FUCKER.
  • When your baby daddy, wait, let me clarify…most RECENT baby daddy, talks to his ex wife about the child they had together before you fucked her husband…don’t get angry.  Really, in general, unless she comes at you with a machete or threatens your kids, don’t get mad at her at all, for anything.  Very few things that she could do to you would be worse then FUCKING HER HUSBAND, while you were supposed to be babysitting her kid.
  • Whenever something starts to get you irritated with your most recent baby daddy’s ex-wife, remember that he hasn’t paid her a damn dime in months and that she has brought over food for you and your kids when you didn’t have money for any…..all of this after you FUCKED HER HUSBAND.
  • Say it’s a year or so after the divorce is final, you have a one year old child with this man and have set some sort of wedding date, don’t expect his ex-wife to be thrilled that you would like her to change her last name. It takes time and money. This woman, the one whose husband you fucked, has a career, a career she was building while you were fucking her husband.  She’d rather not have the name, but it is also her child’s name and she loves her child. She isn’t so hype on explaining a sudden name change due to the divorce that resulted from you fucking her husband. Let it go.

There are a ton of other things I could write down here, but I think you get the gist.  It was once said to me that in a wedding the mother of the groom should keep their mouth shut and wear beige, also a good idea for what husband fuckers should do in life.

It should be noted that the husband is as much to blame in all of the above situations as he was a party to the baby making. He also should not tell his ex-wife the ludicrous things his baby mama says, should that entice his ex-wife to show her the questionable text messages you sent her a few months ago and will save for situations just like these.

I am not a mother, an ex-wife or a husband fucker.  This was done as a public service.  Spread the word.

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