In the last 24 hours, the following have been witnessed by my work crush.
- Me, meowing like a cat while holding my hair up in two ponytails during last night’s storms. If he had walked in two minutes earlier, it would have been funny, not sad/scary/disturbing.
- Me, calling my friend who had an unfortunate incident in the ladies room earlier today, “Pee Butt” in a somewhat loud voice.
- Me, hiking up my jeans before they showed my panties to all in the hall. Of course, he was the only one in the hall and all that was said was “Hey Heather, they have these things called belts. They’re kinda cool.” My response to this was to smile a doofy grin and pick up my pace a bit.
- Me, upon walking into the kitchen and seeing that no one had thought to make more coffee after finishing the pot, saying “POOP!” quite loudly. THEN, while getting coffee out of the cupboard, before I could even do anything, I hear “OOOO, stripes, perhaps the belt isn’t for you.” I turned red, tried to act cool, hit the “start brew” button and watched while a few tablespoons of coffee fell to the floor before I realized that I needed to replace the pot.
Seriously, I think I may have some sort of condition. It may require professional help. Or maybe I need to start drinking at work, then at least I would have an excuse for my behavior.