Scene

int: Semi-crowded bar, night.  The post trivia crowd has started to dissipate, but the air is still charged from the marriage proposal that all had just witnessed. A girl, brown hair, cute top, huge smile and stomach ache from the evening’s laughter is deciding if she is ready to leave or not. She looks across the table at the boy, dark hair and eyes and a sly smile, who consumes her thoughts as of late.

Girl:

I think I’m going to head out

Boy:

(extends hand in a gesture that is asking for “five”) Be good, be safe.

Girl:

(gives him “five” but grabs his hand and uses it to pull herself closer)

I can’t leave without a hug.

Boy:

(Pulls girl tight and squeezes, pulling her face into the crook of his neck where she becomes intoxicated with his smell)

But I might not let go.

Girl:

Would that be so bad?

(She looks up from where she is buried in his neck into his sweet, happy eyes)

Boy:

(shrugs and pulls her back in to him)

Girl:

Uh, well, some of us have to work tomorrow…….

ext: girl finds herself walking down the street to her car wondering WHAT THE FUCK HER PROBLEM IS!!!

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The falsehood of mirrors

I saw a title of a blog that said “The beauty the mirrors don’t reflect.” It was categorized under “religion” and as a result didn’t interest me as I am not in the mood to read about anyone’s religion today.

It made me think though.  I don’t think mirrors EVER reflect beauty. At least no mirrors I look in.  This isn’t a “poor me, I’m not a total hottie” post, quite the opposite.  When I look in mirrors I tend to be looking for flaws, or looking to see that I have primped and prodded and covered and contorted myself so that physical issues are not as pronounced.  The times I have seen beauty in a mirror was more because I saw myself as happy. I noticed I was standing taller or had a flirtier look on my face or some other random thing like that.

True beauty is really reflected all around…just rarely in mirrors. Next time you are out with a group of friends or just one friend, catch the beauty reflected in the windows, or the silverware, or the glasses or the happiness in your friends’ faces.  Say something silly or stupid (intentional or not) and see your beauty reflected in the laughter on someone else’s face. Beauty has so little to do with hair, clothes and makeup, but so much more to do with personality and strength and courage and weakness and openness.

A friend told me I looked beautiful this past weekend. As I am wont to do, I said something that completely disagreed with him or pointed out how I was a sweaty as a whore in church and my hair was a disaster, etc…. He argued with me and said that there was no way that anyone who was as happy as I was at that moment could be anything but beautiful.  It’s times like that I wish I could see myself through other people’s eyes.  I think I miss the good things about myself a lot of the time.  I think most people miss the good things about themselves a lot of the time.

Earlier in the week I was out with some friends at a bar.  We were on the patio since Noodle was with me. My intentions had been to stop by to wish someone happy birthday, drop off a gift certificate I had to the bar for the group to share and be on my way.  I figured no one would be all hyped on sitting outside with me and my dog.  Slowly but surely, they all came out and we took over the patio.  I know that the main draw was Noodle, he’s so dang cute and all, but it ended up that it was more important that we were all together having a good time then it was to be sitting in our favorite booth inside where one of us (me in this case) couldn’t be.  THAT is beauty to me.

Physical beauty is so subjective and so fleeting. I tend to find beauty in “less then lovely” things and sometimes people.  Show me quirks and flaws and idiosyncrasies and I’m all over it. The beauty from these things can’t be reflected in a mirror, it can only be reflected through understanding and appreciation.

Today, and as many days as possible, I will try to catch the reflection of my beauty. I will try to reflect the beauty of my friends. Seems like a worthy goal, no?