A quandry

It has been said to me about a million times that a girl can have sex anytime she wants to. As a female, I don’t feel this to be true. I understand the power of the uterus (I know…it’s more the boobs…but whatever) I’ve had many a free drink, a jar opened, a box carried and even gotten out of some traffic tickets because I am a girl.  But I cannot, for the life of me, think of a time when I was wanting the sex and felt confident enough to just go out and get it.

OK fellas, let’s set a scene. It’s a bar. You’re hanging out, playing trivia or darts or just sitting there drinking.  You’ve been chatting to a lady for awhile, good conversation, things in common, little bit of flirtatious behavior, the usual. Perhaps this person is a friend. Perhaps you just met. The night is winding down and she says “Hey, I’ve had fun with you tonight and would like that to continue (or something similar)” and then bats her eyelashes or something like that.  Do you think “awww yeah!” or “shit….she wants to date me” or even worse “dang ho….I’ll hit that…but you are Slutty McSkankerson and I will probably never talk to you again.”  Or what if the girl just kind of moves in closer and plants one on ya? What would you do/think then? 

Is this forward behavior attractive or repulsive? Do you have any respect for the girl who simply has a desire for sex with a man and is willing to go after it? Will you just make out with a girl for awhile because it’s fun to make out? Are these questions proof of our evolution, or precursors to our demise?

I’ve got questions people. I need answers. I need to get my hands on a boy.

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5 thoughts on “A quandry

  1. I think there’s a fine line between showing interest and being…well, too much.

    I think of a woman I met around this time last year. We met at a social event and exchanged phone numbers. The next she called to see if I wanted to do something that day (I had other plans already that I couldn’t break so that ended up not happening). I was flattered and it helped me a bit because I went–OK, so maybe she is interested. IT wasn’t just being “nice.” (I’ve read about this fake number you can give out to someone that if they call, it says–man, this person gave you a fake number….) Anyway, she began to call every few hours that day. It was kind of amusing at first, but it became a huge turn-off in a big hurry. It eventually ended up that she was literally throwing herself at me, begging me for any kind of relationship I was willing to give and then some…and she wouldn’t take no for answer. I compared her to the woman on Seinfeld where George tries to break up with her and she goes “No, that doesnt’ work for me, George.”

    Anyway, that said, I think there is a fine line there. I was flattered she was interested and I appreciated the confirmation. But allow me to be a guy and make a move as well…don’t force it on me.

    But that’s just me.

  2. Me being of the painfully shy type, I like it when the woman makes the first move. If we’ve been having good conversation and such for a couple of hours and you made the invitation to extend the night, I wouldn’t think anything bad. Most likely I was thinking the same thing myself but just too chickenshit to ask. Now if we’ve chatted all of 5 minutes, I would have to have second thoughts. Maybe.

    You can still be forward without sounding predatory or desperate. I like it when a woman knows what she wants. Especially if, by some miracle, it’s me. I can honestly say that I have picked up just one woman in my life, a cold sale with no leads. I tend to rely on the kindness of strangers, which can be lonely. And scary. I can handle being part of a one-night-stand but just don’t lie to me. I’m sensitive.

    As for making out, I haven’t done that in a long time. Sounds like it would be fun but if it was really great making out, think you could just stop there?

  3. First off….my recent conversations have lead me to believe that there is not nearly enough making out going on out there. Sure–it can often lead to more….but it doesn’t have to and can make for a better evening (on occassion) when it doesn’t. Come on people…get out there and make out.

    I don’t like to think of this as making the first move…don’t want to emasculate the fragile males….I like to think of this as opening the door. Making the boy aware that, were they to want to make a move, they would not be shot down.

    Thanks for the insight.

    Oh–and calling every few hours that early in a situation is just plain scary!

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