Don’t mean to mislead (a complete overshare!)

OK–the ol’ sex tag was used on a post of mine, but there wasn’t anything super sexual in the post.  So, the couple dozen folks who came across my ramblings looking for some hot and heavy action….so sorry.

However, this would seem as good a time as any to outline my general idea on the topic of bumpin’ nasties, knocking boots, making love, what have you. A topic as important as this, obviously, deserves a bulleted list.

  • First and foremost, I like sex. I like it a lot. I mean, seriously…a LOT!
  • When I was a pre-teen (like 12 I think) I decided that 17 was a good age to lose my virginity.  No idea why. Perhaps I figured that I would have a car (place) been exposed to a variety of guys (options) and would be mature enough to handle it (delusion).
  • I lost my virginity at 17 🙂 I didn’t really have some great big feelings for the guy.  He seemed a means to an end at that point. I will give him this…..he knew what he was doing.  He was older and I later found out prided himself in taking girl’s virginity–nice.
  • The next guy I had sex with was a totally different thing. (just so ya know…..I will not be going through every guy I’ve had sex with…… one, other then me,at this point in my life, needs to know my ‘number’) He and I had great chemistry.  We talked for hours on end. We would sit at the beach and just hold hands not speaking for hours. I loved him and he loved me. Sex with him was amazing. The first guy had all the moves, but this guy had the moves AND he loved me.  It’s like apple pie (apparently the perfect metaphor for sex).  Apple pie is good.  Apple pie with ice cream is amazing.  He was my ice cream.  We were together for quite a while.  Toyed around with marriage, the whole 9.  Things got complicated in ways that are quite “soap opera” like. We got back together a couple more times before he married his “baby mama”—soap opera!—and I moved on. I kept in touch with him. We still loved each other, blah blah blah…..
  • The marine. Yep…that’s right, I dated military.  Actually, I’ve dated more then my fair share of military, but the marine is the only one that “counts.” I met him the day after he got out of the “brig.” Seriously, I know how to pick ’em! I don’t know that I have had a more physical connection, attraction or relationship with anyone then I did with him. In the process of convincing me to have sex with him (it wasn’t a very long process) he said the words “I always know that I can get myself off…’s all about you when we are together.”  Um–ok, this bar table seems like a good place to go at it! It may have been a line (a successful one) but it didn’t matter because he was not all talk. He backed up his words.  Good GOD! He got discharged from the Marines and moved home to Louisiana where he became a semi-pro hockey player.  After I moved to Nashville he would come through town every once in awhile and we would “hook up.”  Last summer he was in town for an extended time (now that he had a real job) and we talked of him moving here for good.  In a strange moment of clarity and maturity, I told him that if he was moving here to be with me, he would be dissappointed.  The sex was great, but I had no intention of developing a relationship with him. It got ugly. He left. I haven’t spoken to him since and don’t think I will.
  • The “others.”  This isn’t a large group, but none of them deserve their own paragraph.  These were boys/men that had brief guest spots on the TV show of my life.  Some were friends with benefits. Some were people who wanted to date me that I just wanted to have sex with.  Some were people that, well,  I had sex with because we both wanted to have sex with someone and we were both available.  I include in this group my one (and hopefully only) one night stand. To say that these men had no bearing in my life at all would be both a lie and would make me seem slutty.  To say that they were core shakers or anything but little side trips on the road of life would be over romanticizing. They happened.
  • There are times when I think that I don’t put the right amount of importance on sex. That it is more then a physical act, etc….. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it is not.  I suppose that if I had waited until I got married I would have different views (and be a 33 year old virgin) but I didn’t and I don’t regret my choice to not wait.  I would probably be a “technical virgin” only….and really, I don’t know that it counts. 
  • I’ve known people who say that they want to save this one thing for their husband.  Ok…I’ll save sex on an airplane, or in a field in the middle of a rock show, or page 248 of the Karma Sutra, or in the Burger King bathroom for my husband. If it’s about a particular act, there are countless acts that I will share only with the one I chose to spend my life with. Plus, no matter what I have done before, with each person, each act is different, or special in it’s own way because it’s a different person. 
  • Sex is like snowflakes… two lays are the same.
  • The ear lobe is a much neglected spot on the body.
  • The surreptitious hand hold is one of the sexiest things in the world.
  • Asking for that first kiss is always a good idea.
  • Just because a girl likes sex doesn’t mean she is ; slutty, easy, willing to have sex with YOU!
  • Never underestimate cuddle time.  I’m not talking all night, but the “hit and run” is never a good idea.

So there is my mini-manifesto on sex. Not titillating or specific, but I’m not that kind of gal. Not sure I’ll keep this post up for very long, but then again, maybe I will.  Maybe having this kind of a record out there for all who stumble across it to see is just what I need to straighten things out in this area of my life.  Maybe I just need a cocktail………


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