It has been said that confession is good for the soul. So until some university gets a bazillion dollars to study this and prove it wrong (while people are dying of diseases and such) I will stick with random confessions.
For the record, my idea of a confession is to tell the world (or whoever will listen) about things that either I am not proud of, am afraid of, or simply don’t make me very cool. (In general I don’t know that I am very cool, so in theory everything I say is a confession? oh hell, I’m rambling now).
My confessions for August 1, 2007:
- I enjoy massive disasters. Well, I don’t know that enjoy is the right word. I become obsessed with the terrible things that happen in this world. Perfect example; the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis today. I saw the headline on msnbc.com and I felt my heart race. I ran into the living room and turned on the TV. I watched for a good hour, the same footage, over and over. When the Oklahoma City Bombing happened, I took a day off work. Granted, I used to live there and had friends downtown, etc….but still. September 11, don’t even get me started! I think it’s an illness. I tell myself that it is like walking around when you have a cramp in your calf, it hurts a lot at first, but then it gets sort of numb. Perhaps I think that if I watch all the horrible things that go on in the world, I will be more prepared when something happens to me, or maybe I will just have a better perspective on things? Who knows.
- Sometimes I think I want to be a redneck. Wait…that sounds weird. Ok…bottom line, I find myself attracted to redneck boys. There. I like the truck driving, beer drinking, stripper bar going,boob obsessed, questionably educated, loud, harsh country boys. I can’t get enough of them sometimes. I know there is no sort of relationship to be had, I am way too bourgeoisie —-yep, I’m uppity too. But the thought of being curled up next to a warm boy who smells of beer and cigarettes in the bed of his truck in the middle of nowhere and not giving a shit that there is a gun rack in the cab or that he very well might have voted for W (if he voted at all) seems nice. We wouldn’t be bogged down with conversation, just lots of making out, etc…..
- I bought 3 boxes of cereal at the grocery store today. I did this knowing full well that I had 4 boxes in the cupboard at home.
- I’m obsessed with myspace. Yep, I’m a tad too old. Yep, I’m a total voyeur. But come on now, how flippin’ awesome is it to be able to see how groups of friends overlap? How about musical tastes….important things to find out about people. The random layouts and shit that people put on their profiles….VERY informative. Being able to look at pictures of people you kind of know or want to know better…HELL YEAH! It’s kind of a good thing that I don’t have access to it at work….I can look up porn, but not myspace….since I would waste even more ridiculous amounts of time on it. I do, however, sometimes wish, that I had myspace friends who would leave me nasty pictures or questionable humor comments. It goes back to my not so secret love for the rednecks I guess.
- I can eat almost a full bag of reduced fat Ruffles (they aren’t as greasy and are more ‘potato-y’, it’s not a health thing) and a full container of Publix’s Black Bean Cheddar dip within 24 hours. Hell, who am I kidding, 12 hours! I will eat it for “dinner” and then “breakfast.” I’m sick, truly sick…..
- I check my blog stats a million times a day. Ok, that’s an exaggeration ( I exaggerate also!) But I check them alot! I also check on blogs that I make comments on to see if there has been a response to a comment I’ve made. For example, I made a comment on a blog today of a person that I am FREAKISHLY fond of and their response, which was 4 letters and an emoticon…made me smile so hard for so long that my cheeks hurt. Yes, I need constant reassurance, but it really takes so so little 🙂
OK–that’s all the confessing I have in me for today. I’m tired. I need to go read some more Harry Potter and my dog just rolled off the bed in his sleep. Should be an interesting night 🙂